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In reading "Heaven And Hell", the
just released self autobiographical account of it's author Mr. Don
Felder, I was amazed and glued to each page and each chapter, that I
read the book within 3 days, and then a second time in 5 days. I
indeed highly recommend this book. Not only is it a personal look
back on the life of one of rocks greatest and most talented
guitarists, it is yet another view and first hand account of what
the roots of Rock and Roll were like and what was going on from
Gainsville to Boston and eventually Los Angeles, during the late
1960's and 1970's. I have no idea if what was such passionate and
personal reading is all truth, in any way embellished, or is a dead
on account of exactly what took place and how it happened as it
relates to all the many very exciting and very riveting stories that
Mr. Don Felder tells us (as I am just a fan and obviously I was not
there). However, when it comes to his account and remembrance of
what he describes as "Psycho Santa", a fan gone too far, I was
there. I am who he refers to and can give
a more accurate account of how and what really fully happened.
 To begin with, I do not at all
blame Mr. Felder for the conclusions he describes in his book
concerning "Psycho Santa". However, there is much he does not know,
much described very incorrectly, and much more to the story that I
wish to tell. I will let you the reader conclude what you will
and what you want. I wish to be very careful as to not quote from
"Heaven and Hell" as to not infringe upon any copyright or violate
any such protected laws, or show any personal disrespect to Mr. Don
Felder and/or his very very good novel of hard work. If any part of
this account I am about to describe violates any copyright laws,
please bring it to my attention right away as it is not my intent
and I will gladly edit without hesitation. I do wish to
state once again, that I highly recommend this book as something
that all Eagles fans, and fans of rock music should read. It's a
hell of an account of this mans amazing journey in both life and
music. Yes this book is that good.
In the summer of 1992, and 8 years
into the collection you see in this website, I wrote a sincere and
personal letter to Mr. Felder describing how much I enjoyed the
music he has made. In the letter I asked him to please sign several
LP's and several CD covers. I included a SASE and within a few
weeks, perhaps 2 months, I received my return parcel back with the
items signed. Then in the fall of 1993, I wrote back asking Mr.
Felder for several autographs specifically on a few of some very
rare German and Italian Greatest Hits LP's that were never released
here in the U.S. Each of these LP's had all ready been signed by the
other 6 members of the Eagles, and only needed Mr. Felder to
complete. I included pictures of these LP's as to show him the
signatures, and indicated to him that they were indeed very rare, as
no other member of the band while signing these LP's had ever seen
them. I asked Mr. Felder if I could meet with him at a place he felt
very comfortable at (a business office, his management office, would
he be performing any a club or show, Gladstones, anywhere) as I just
cannot risk damage or being lost by sending these LP's in the mail. Mr
Felder, through his manager, wrote back indicating that a face to
face meeting simply was out of the question, and I was welcomed to
send the stuff to him and they would send it back.
 Here is where I made mistake number
one. In hindsight, I should have taken the offer and sent the stuff
as they described. However, the LP's were purchased in
San Remo, Italy, which I could never find again, and it had taken
over 5 years to collect the other members of the bands signatures,
and I just could not afford the risk. I thought perhaps if I write
back and include a video tape showing my collection and that I was
just a fan, and not an autograph seeker that is in this for the
resale of such items, Mr. Felder and his team might reconsider.
After sending the tape, I never heard back from him and that closed
any attempt at that point to get the items signed. There never was
any angry response letters.
Here is where I made mistake number
two. During my 8 years of collecting autographs for my collection, I
have meet and bumped into many autograph seekers and many of L.A.'s
paparazzi. One specifically who I'll call "X.X.", I would see
everywhere and I found him to be a fairly nice guy. Waiting for long
times late at night for what would hopefully be an autograph
encounter, we would pass the time by telling each other of our
adventures. On such an adventure, I asked "X.X." if he ever obtained
Don Felder's autograph. His response to me was, "oh ya I have gotten
him before, he is easy for me to get". A couple weeks later I ran
into "X.X." outside the House Of Blues, and the subject of Don Felder
came up again. Now in the past, since I did have to be at work in
Arcadia by 7:00am during weekday mornings, I would strike a deal
with several of the more "normal" looking of these autograph hounds
(staying away from those that were missing teeth or stunk like they
hadn't seen a shower for days). I gave them a photo or two, an LP
perhaps, they stayed until the wee hours and got it signed, and we
settled up later.
 Such was the case with "X.X.". He
and I struck a deal where I would give him a few of my items at an
agreed price and see if he can get Don Felder to sign them. Now, I
didn't trust "X.X." any more than I did the U.S. postal service, so
to test this guy, I gave him only a few items that were signed by 2
or 3 members of the band, still not risking my European LP's. I kept
in weekly contact with "X.X.", and after a month or so, we meet up
and he indicated to me he had had no luck. It was now November of
1993 and still with my LP's not signed, I thought back to a story
that Bruce Springsteen had told many times live in concert.
Springsteen's story talks about in 1975 during the Born To Run tour,
he and a band mate, jumped the wall at Graceland and knocked on the
door in an attempt to meet Elvis. Now living in the post John Lennon
era, that would be ludicrous. However, it did leave me with a idea.
 I thought Mr. Don Felder might find
it funny, if he saw what silliness I would go to, just to get these
LP's signed. So I prepped a couple signs, and dressed as Santa
Claus, and on a bright Saturday morning at the end of November 1993,
I stood on Pacific Coast highway dressed as Santa Claus ringing a
bell. Both signs I painted are not as all as indicated in the book,
"Heaven And Hell". In fact, what is indicated in the book is a
complete inaccurate reading of either sign. While I was ringing my
bell and dancing back and forth, a car pulled over and a woman and
young child got out of the car. This lady walked up to me and
proceeded to have her daughter tell me what she wanted for
Christmas. About 15 minutes later a second car pulled over and as
before, a Hispanic lady got out of the car with her daughter in tow,
and her daughter too then told me what this young girl wanted for Christmas.
All the while my wife and kids are across the street wondering when
all this stupidity is going to end and they can drive back the 50+
miles and simply go home. About that time, the Malibu Sheriffs
department had showed up with two squad cars.
Out came several of the biggest and
toughest looking cops that I had ever seen. My first though went
from ho-ho-ho, to uh oh. An officer walked up to me and basically
asked me what the hell am I doing and asked for identification. A
truck peeked out from a private driveway a bit down PCH (which I
assume was Mr. Felder). An officer went over to talk to whoever was
in the truck, then came over to talk to me. He indicated that Mr.
Felder has filed a report and asked that I be arrested. The
policemen indicated that this was the third time that I have came to
his house and the second time that they had been called. It was
obvious that this had all gone terrible wrong and my intent of this
day to be perceived as a stunt of humor, was anything but.
I
indicated that I would pack it all up and leave as to avoid arrest,
but I assured them that I have never been to Mr. Felders house,
ever, and it probably had been years since I even been to Malibu.
The policemen indicated to me that they had a confirmed report that
I had been to Mr. Felder's house, waiving LP's at him from his fence
and driveway, and confronted him on his property. Again, I assured
these policemen that it was not me. As I drove back home that day I
knew that it was not me that ever been to Mr. Felder's house, but I
had a damn good idea of who had. Shortly thereafter, I was served at
my house in Arcadia with a restraining order.
 It had been a while, and it took me
a while, but within a couple weeks, I tracked down "X.X.". I asked
him point blank, "what the hell did you do and say and what were you
doing out at Felder's house?" At first he tried to deny it, but
eventually stated pretty much the same story that the police had
told me a few weeks earlier. I told him that I assumed that he would
try to obtain Felder's signature on the streets, in a public place,
that he may have had an "in", not at his house. I told him
now Don Felder and the Malibu Sheriffs office all think I've been
stalking this man, and on top of it, I got served a f***ing
restraining order. It was on a Saturday night, and we were somewhere
in Hollywood (I can't remember where), but I do remember then
knocking all of "X.X's" photos and LP's out of his hand, and kicking
them out into the street. He and I had words, but I walked away and
since that time have never commissioned anyone, unless I was right
there in line with them, to obtain any autograph on my behalf ever
again.
 I felt absolutely terrible in the
weeks and months since that day. I always in all my autograph
collecting, prided myself on the "NO X 2 Rule". In other words, if I
asked a celebrity for an autograph and they said no, I would ask a
second time. If they still said no, I would walk away and live to
try another day. I had seen paparazzi, autograph hounds, autograph
seekers, and even the "mainstream" media, all push and shove, name
call, jump out of bushes, follow celebrities into a restaurant, sit
on thier car, key the celebrities car after being refused a
photograph or signature and all kinds of very ugly and very nasty
tactics all either in their quest to obtain whatever it is they
want, or retaliate when being refused. I prided myself on having
much higher ethics and a much higher set of values and respect for
an artist. I could care less if an artist wanted to personalize
thier signatures (as long as an LP like Hotel California still had
room if each member to sign. Writing To Stephen five times and then
5 signatures can end up being a real big mess). I knew I was from a
different side of town and though I was an aggressive collector and
determined (you gotta be if you want any kind of real success)
respect for the artist always came first. I have never ever chased a
celebrity in their car, but I have raced from a hotel where they
just left, to Dan Tana's or Musso and Frank's were I had a tip they
would be. I have pushed and shoved and wiggled my way to the front
of many lines, and paid many a pricey dollar for a back stage pass,
however when it came time for the actual encounter, I always shown
respect for the celebrity. Yet, in spite of all my ethics, I now was
part of a fraternity that I never expected to be; that of being
served a restraining order. What bothered me the most, was someone
who I really admired and tried my best to show I was a real honest
fan, now perceived me as a threat to he and his family. I wanted so
much to explain the truth and offer my absolute apologies, however
the restraining order was real black and real white.
In late May of 1994 I got a tip
from a photographer that the Eagles were staying at The Four Seasons
Hotel in Newport Beach as they were playing 4 shows at Irvine
Meadows. I thought here is a chance at a very public and well secure
hotel, to offer my apologies to Mr. Felder and perhaps, just
perhaps, finally get my European LP's signed. I had nothing to hide
and knew I was no threat, so my wife and I booked a room and checked
in that Friday afternoon, the night of the opening show. Never, was
I thrown out of the Hotel as indicated in "Heaven and Hell". In
fact, the truth of the story is really quite different. My wife and
I were sitting on a lobby couch when around 4:30pm, all in about 20
minutes, each member of the band left the hotel flanked with
security and personnel and into individual awaiting mini vans. With
the band members all gone, my wife and I went up to our room, got
cleaned up and then went on to see the show. We had tickets to the
first two and last of the four shows. We were sitting at opening
night dead center, second section which though costly paid from a
broker, offered really good seats and we were excited about the
show. As we had about an hour to show time, I left my seat to go use
the bathroom.
 Waiting in line for the
bathroom, I was stopped by security, and asked if I could follow
them. We walked off to the side, when they asked to see my ticket,
asked for identification and to empty my pockets. Upon doing so and
having them check through the bag of t-shirts and programs that I
purchased, they asked me such questions as why do I have so many
programs and t-shirts. I told them I am a collector and a fan. I did
have a small camera that they said they would either have to take,
or put back in my car if I wanted to stay. I told them I would
gladly put it back in my car. A security guy after getting off his
walkie-talkie, agreed to walk me back to my car and watched as I
actually put all my stuff back in the car. I told him I really had
to piss, and after pissing between my car and the next, he walked
with me back into the arena. I asked him what was up, although I
already knew: I was a marked man.
The show was absolutely awesome,
however now seemingly tainted for both my wife and I. We left as the
first encore started, as traffic out of Irvine Meadows can take
hours. As we arrived back at The Four Seasons, a man walked up to us
just steps into the hotel and introduced himself as Smokey Wendell.
Smokey, as he asked us to call him was completely a professional and
was both respectful and polite. Basically he told us that there
would be no autographs attempted and that it was his job to see to
it that I did not approach Mr. Felder (or any of the band) in any
way. He asked if we could please l eave the hotel. About that time
all the vans pulled up and each member of the band was rushed in and
whisked up the elevators. I remember getting quite a stare from
especially Glen Frey and a quick look from Don Felder (Joe Walsh was
talking to someone as he was walking in ). I showed Smokey my
European LP's and he complimented me on them, and showed genuine
care when I explained to him that this was all a very big mistake
and an even greater misunderstanding. He listened to everything I
had to say, again being both respectful, polite and very personal.
In the end, he and I shook hands, and I agreed to check out of the
hotel. I asked him if he wanted us to leave now. He said that it was
late and probably not a good idea to drive so far, so late. He asked
us to please go upstairs and enjoy a nights sleep, and instead of
wasting our money on such an expensive hotel, to spend it on taking
my wife out to breakfast the next morning after checking out.
Morning came, and Maria and I checked out by 8:30am. We never went
to any of the other shows that weekend as it just felt all wrong and
I really just wanted to keep my word and stay away.
As I started off by saying, I do
not blame Mr. Don Felder for the conclusion that he has indicated in
his book. However, there are much more facts to the story, much more
truths, and some direct inaccuracies. I am not a "Psycho Santa", nor
a psycho anything. I am a devoted father of 3 children who I adore
passionately. I attend their baseball games, track meets and all of
their band performances. I am a blue collar worker who takes the
Metrolink each day from Corona into Orange County. I am an all
volunteer Little League Umpire for over 11 seasons. I umpire around
60 games a season all strictly as a 1000% volunteer. I attend mass
(almost) each Sunday at St. Mel's Catholic Church in Norco, and
lastly, have one hell of a rock and roll collection of memorabilia.
I am totally so, so, so sorry for any pain I caused Mr. Felder and
his family, as that was never ever my intent. I have learned much
during my continued 20 year plus quest to build my collection. I
continue to hold my head up high and am so proud of this collection,
and stand tall on all the sincere means I have used and all the
talent and sacrifice it took to build it. However I am the first and
always will be the first, to stand corrected and in judgment of
anything I may have done wrong in my quest. I think the amount of
personalized autographs contain in this collection, speaks loudest,
as to the integrity and demeanor of myself as a collector.
I have seen Mr. Felder at some golf
tournaments, at the Tiger Woods benefit, and at the Katrina concert
since. Hopefully one day Mr. Don Felder and I may officially meet,
on his terms, and I can shake his hand and apologize in person.
Hopefully based on knowing all the facts, he will accept my apology.
Until such a day, if at all, I will always be as I always have
been...
...just a fan.
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CONCLUSION and CLOSURE! |
I think in life, we all try
and leave the best footprints that we as adults can leave.
Especially now as my kids are well into their teens, and
getting older so fast, these footprints I want to leave, is
something very important to me as an adult. Sometimes, life
gives you that opportunity to redeem oneself and be
apologetic. Other times, life doesn't offer such redemption,
and you just have to live with it. This brings me to the story
above concerning Mr. Don Felder.
For the last 14 years, since
that May of 1994 night at The Four Seasons, I realized my
quest for his autograph, though intended to be funny stunt in
a Santa outfit, was anything but. There was a much bigger
picture that was happening with this man, that I simply did
not stop to consider. For 14 years I knew that if the time and
the place ever presented itself, I wanted to look Mr. Felder
in the eye and apologize deeply from the heart. Last night at
the first of Don Felder's book signings, I finally had such a
chance.
Waiting for the signing to be
over, and the crowd to disburse, I introduced myself to him,
and offered my sincere apologies. Mr. Felder heard me out,
listened to what I had to say, then stuck out his had and
accepted my apology. 14 years is a long time to want to
apologize to someone. Especially to a stranger who I have
absolutely no affiliation with whatsoever. Someone, who owes
me nothing. Stranger or not, because of that day on PCH, I
owed him an apology and thus did so. I told Mr. Felder I never
was at his house, nor was I that person waiving LP's at his
driveway. I think he believes me. I hope that he believes me.
Don Felder during the "Hell
Freezes Over" tour had to perform one of Don Henley's solo
songs over and over and over again, forgoing his chance to
sing any of his own solo songs or his one Eagles song,
"Visions". The Don Henley solo song in part talks about,
"forgiveness..... forgiveness". Last night at a book store in
Santa Monica, Mr. Don Felder is the real Eagles band member
who indeed had the "heart of the matter".
May 7, 2008
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Mr.
Don Felder and I at Barnes & Noble in Santa Monica, May 6,
2008.
Mr. Felder wrote a book because he needed to, answered many
questions because he
wanted to, and shook my hand even though he didn't have to. |
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